November 18th 11:40 AM
I dared to put my hand on top of hers and she did not pull away from me. I was thankful enough for that. Emily’s eyes were tracing the room looking at everybody, she was probably the only one in the room not judging other people but genuinely curious as to what was wrong and what she could do to help them.
I decided to address the elephant in the room
“Why are you in the city ?” I asked.
She didn’t say anything ,she twitched her lips trying to come up with what to say
“You don’t want anyone you know to see you ?” I guessed
“I know. It’s bad,” she said
“Ms.Clarence ?”A docotor called out
Emily quickly stood up and keeping my hand clasped in hers we walked back to the doctor’s office.
“This is Slate,” Emily introduced
The doctor seemed like a nice guy and went into his usual doctor speech that I barely tuned into and then handed Emily the prescriptions. We walked to the drugstore nearby and I stood by and watched as she took the white bag from the pharmacist.
As we walked out of the drugstore I could not get over how depressed Emily looked.
“You know what really helps in situations like this,” I said in a grave voice.
“What ?”
“Ice cream,” I said pulling her into a little ice cream shop on the corner of the street, “On me.”
“Slate, I’m not you-- I’m not a child,”
“Is that a no ?”
“Not exactly,” she said.
When we were sitting inside, I could see she was still struggling with this.
“I wish there wasn’t such a stigma attached. I mean why is that ? Because it kills ? Because you get it from sex ? It’s not like I jump on every man I see—it doesn’t mean I’m a promiscuous slut,”
“If I didn’t think it’d kill the Bennetts I would tell them. I personally don’t give a fuck about stigmas”
“I know you don’t. I shouldn't either” she smiled and then looking into the air she seemed to be somewhere else, “Do you remember our first date ?”
I did
“It was my 21st birthday and I wanted go to a New York City lounge and drink martini’s-- something grown up and you wanted to go and see a cartoon,”
“Nightmare Before Christmas is not a cartoon,” I reminded her,” It was in IMAX and your birthday is Christmas Eve plus I was trying to stay away from temptation, you know I have an addictive personality. Why, was it that bad ?”
“No, it was just a first. And you kissed me on the first date, that was daring,” she laughed.
“It was your birthday and Christmas gift,” I joked
“See most people would never do that but you did and your devil may care attitude made me want so much more out of life, it’s what made me want to call you back that night but, I waited for you. What made you call me back ?”
“You had a heated apartment,”
She smirked at me and I leaned over and placed my lips over hers, my tongue was inches from her mouth before she pushed me away.
“What the hell are you doing Slate?” she asked
“I was kissing you,” I told her. What the hell was wrong with her ?
“You know we aren’t back together right ?”
“Um if we aren't back together why did you invite me to go to the doctors with you then ?”
“As a friend, for support , like the books I read said. I thought it was good since you had to go through the same process.”
“What process ? I’m not on the drugs,”
“What?” she said,”Why not ?”
“I don’t know,”
“Slate, I swear to God,” she said getting up to walk out, “I broke up with you for a reason I thought going through that rehab program changed you,”
"I dropped out of rehab," I told her,"I left after a week,"
"Of course you did," she said putting on her coat and walking out the door.
I went after her and cut her off from getting across the street.
“I think we should get back together," I finally admitted
She crossed her arms and looked at me
“Why, Slate ? Why do you want me to get back together with you ?”
“Because,” I said, “I care about you. I want you.”
She laughed, “Slate let me explain this to you. I know you run away from expectations but, I embrace them for validation and yes, I know it’s pathetic. People expect me to be dating someone who I could potentially marry, I have to be serious with my relationships now.”
“Well there you go,” I said,” We should be together because we are the only two people who can fuck together. Think about it Em, no one is going to marry you with AIDS. You can’t ever have a family without infecting your bastard offspring—did you think about that ?”
The look on her face said she hadn’t
“ I can’t believe you did this to me,” she said pushing me out of the way, “Slate, listen to me, don’t come to my apartment, Don’t talk to me don’t ever come near me again, Got to hell, you selfish asshole !,”
I watched her walk away from me
I looked over at my watch
12:49
Damn.
