Tuesday Novemeber 18th 3:12 AM
All I could hear was the backdrop of rap music, squeaks and loud thuds. It was almost drowning out my impending thoughts.
Slate always came back to the apartment late at different times it is so annoying. And what does he do when he gets in at 3 AM ?
Starts work on a goddamn bike, like he lives alone.
Like I can't hear that.
I looked at the clock.
3:12
I switched positions in my bed again
Slate is so loud.
* * *
Tuesday Novemeber 18th 12:21 PM
“Hey, Mr. Bennett ?” Cori, the nurse in the ward said coming over to my bed,”Where is your entourage, today ?”
I offered her a weak smile, more of a pathetic twitch of the ends of my lips. I just wasn’t in the mood.
“Someone is coming for you later, right ?” she asked
“My cousin, Slate is coming for me” I explained.
I was beginning not to like hospitals, I mean I liked the idea of them but the smell of ethanol and cotton balls always made me gag.
I watched the bag of lethal chemicals that was being slowly infused into my body and nearly laughed.
It had kind of been my asinine idea.
It was a week after Dr.Shapiro’s had been closed and after making the date for my first chemotherapy session I called Nicholas who called Elias and we all met at my apartment to just talk. There was no pretense about it, we weren’t having dinner, watching movies or playing video games. We had come together to just talk.
“I know, it won’t really hurt or anything,” I had said, ”But, I hate the idea of having an IV in me. They freak me out so much,--“
“I know—“ said Nicholas, “ I had one when I had surgery, I was afraid to move my arm that it would rip my skin or—“
“Yeah, I get it—I guess we will all have to deal with it eventually,” I said and then my brain went on to it’s usually randomness,” “You know Noah and I are blood brothers but, you guys are like my IV brothers.”
“It’s not like they use the same IV on everyone,” Nick laughed, “That doesn’t make a lot of sense,”
“Does anything anymore ?” Elias asked
I’d just laughed it off but in my mind that is what we were, we were connected by these hospital visits, the endless doctors and endless IV drips.
“All done !” Cori said taking the IV out. I was more than happy to get out of the all to clean smell of the hospital room. I went out into the waiting room and scanned the waiting room for Slate.
Shit, come on Slate.
I went to the front desk .
“Hey, Dawn was there a guy in here
for me ? Tall, kind of emo with an asshole vibe ?” I asked
She shook her head and smiled “No, Sorry Darcy,”
I tried calling his phone but Slate hadn’t picked up a phone in 23 years, because afterall, picking up phones is what responsible people do. I knew my mom had given him her car for the day so, he had no excuse for being late.
I twiddled my thumbs already
feeling the shooting pains in my stomach starting.
Was it starting already ? This really was stronger stuff than last time.
I just wanted to be at home. I sat down in one of the chairs and I let my head fall back but snapped it back up quickly. I stole a glance at the clock
I had fallen asleep for an hour.
“Don’t you look precious ?” I heard Slate’s voice.
“Where the hell where you ?” I asked walking up to him
“You know I hate hospitals,” he explained heading for the door
“I should have called a cab,”
We walked out and luckily Slate had found a space in the front of the building.
“My mom gave you her car to pick me up—not to piss off with,”
“Shut up, I’m here,” he said as he headed down the street.
I was still dealing with the coming pain and barely remembered the trip to the apartment. I had two things on my mind; sleeping and getting rid of this shooting nausea.
The first thing I did when I got inside was go into the bathroom and immediately threw up—it seemed make the pain even worse and I fell to the ground clutching my stomach.
God, it hurt so bad.
I laid on the bathroom floor-- it was a good thing the floor mats were soft. I could hear Slate walking around the apartment--I was surprised he was even still here. After what felt like forever I finally lifted myself up to my knees and holding on to the wall I balanced myself to stand up to to take a piss when Slate walked in
“What the hell is wrong with you ?! Personal space ?,” I said
“Oh come on we’re family,” he said staring into the mirror putting his contacts in, “Besides you—Fuck, Dacry ! Are you okay? You’re peeing blood.”
“That’s not blood—it’s a reaction from a dye in the meds. Medication does shit to you—when you actually take them.” I said pushing him out of the way to wash my hands.
I walked out of the bathroom and to the fridge to get some water before I crashed into my bed.
I wasn’t sure I could deal with this. I knew I couldn’t deal with this.
I let my eyes rest and turned the lights off and put on some soft rock.
I heard the sound of someone tapping their foot on the side of my door.
“Darcy ?,” It was Slate, “Should I call your mom or—“
“No,” I said,”Don’t freak them out. Don’t tell anyone anything-- I’m just going to sleep it off,”
I could still hear him breathing at my door
“Do you want me to get you something to eat or something ?”
“Whatever, cousin” I said
I listened to him leave the apartment
It is kind of weird that cancer is such a scary word when the disease itself is not so bad. I had had it for 6 months and felt great. It was everything else that sucked.
And it’s funny but I guess I was wrong.
I can see why people would rather die than go through some discomfort.
Damn
