Tuesday November 21 3:45 PM
“And even if the wars didn't keep coming like glaciers, there would still be plain old death—“
“Ma, please don’t,” I begged her
My mom looked at me over her book.
“What’s wrong ?”
“It’s just the only thing worse than my mother reading to me is her reading Slaughterhouse 5. If you keep going we will never look each other in the eye again.”
She closed the book and smirked at me.
“Well, it’s just a book, they are just words and you know I don’t care. ,” she smiled
I knew she didn’t, it was weird how much my mom loved to read how much she loved books. You couldn’t tell from the tough love act she put on sometimes.
I looked at the clock-- the restaurant was going to be switching to dinner soon and I’m sure my mom had people to manage.
“Mom, you should get to the restaurant,” I said
“I know, I’m on my way out and next time we will get something a little more family friendly,” she promised
“Oh, you think there is going to be a next time ?” I joked as she walked out.
She walked out of my room and I heard her leave the apartment, but I knew I wasn’t safe yet. I saw Lila standing at the front of my bedroom door. The fact that she had waited until mom left to come into the room was not a good sign.
“Remember when I was in high school and you weren’t ever allowed in my room ?” I asked her
“Well, you should know I know why you didn’t want me in your room now,”
“Don’t remind me you’re growing up,” I said
“It’s about Slate,” she finally said
“Lila-“
“I think you need to apologize,”
It was like Lila couldn’t get with the program. I couldn’t believe it. I don’t know what it was about her, that made her defend him all the time.
“It doesn’t matter what you think,” I said, “I think we all are at some agreement, Slate thinks he doesn’t need or want us fine.”
“You seem better,” she said crossing her arms
“I’m getting a week off from chemo. I'm not healed, yet,” I corected her ,”Come on Lila, Slate is a jerk and has always gotten away with it. Do you remember when he left that cocaine in the house or when he crashed Aunt Sara’s car in high school or when Noah and I had to bail him out—“
“It doesn’t matter, Darcy. He is family. I don’t remember most of them but, those are mistakes— big ones, I admit. But, I would think having this happen to you would put life into perspective—whats important and what’s not. Do you really want Slate to deal with that type of guilt ? I’m sorry Darcy, I just don’t understand how you can feel right about this,”
Sometimes with Lila –she’s so young I forget how smart she is.
