“Do they look like you ? I bet they would,” Morgan said spinning her spoon in her coffee

I shrugged my shoulders

“I didn’t really think about it,” I said trying to resist the urge to close the computer screen on her., “They just looked like regular people. I mean the guy--he was surprisingly young,”

“I guess Sean and I aren’t cool young parent’s anymore, huh ?” she joked

“Yeah,” I said even though the fact that Sean and Morgan were only 17 years older than me hardly bothered me.

“I did some research on some stuff, Elias” she said  “This Huntington’s it seems  bad. ”

“I should be fine, they have better medication,” I told her even though I didn’t believe it.

What does it mean when you have to lie to your parents ?

I was hoping for this conversation to end but she was still going.

“Well, it will be weird not having Thanksgiving with you but,  we will definitely get you a ticket for Christmas. You still have plans though, right ?”

“Yes,” I lied again and then decided to end this, “I’ll talk to you later, Morgan”

“Love you,” she said as I closed the lid on her and turned back to my blank computer desktop. I pushed the on button for no good reason and the screen didn’t come on, not that I excpected it to. The computer had taken a mouse to the monitor.

It happened a few days ago, I had killed my avatar three times in a row by mistake. Every time I reached for the mouse I had another twitch and then I couldn’t control what I was doing on screen. I just got so fed up with the game and somehow my computer mouse ended up inside the monitor. The computer had been so apart of my life for so long I expected to feel something but I just didn’t care. I had taken to sitting in the dark the past few nights and laying still, preparing for what my future was going to be.

I had planned to go to Darcy’s for Thanksgiving but, now  I’m not sure what my plans were.  In a way I was glad to be alone, in a way being back in this place of loneliness and despair felt comforting. I loved the quiet, I was sure I could spend another few weeks in my apartment.

I was at the point where I felt so sad it was just better to let the hurt build up and wash over me.