Thursday 7:48

I woke to the sound of Emily clacking around in heels

It was too early.

“What are you doing ?” I asked her.

“I’m going to Port Republic,” she said staring at her face in the vanity.”I can drop you off at your parents if you want,”

“Can't I go with you ?” I said sitting up.

“Why ? So my dad can kill you ?”

“You think he knows about your AIDS ?”

“It’s HIV, Slate we have HIV. And no I don't think they know.  My parents are Republicans they probably think I'm still a virgin. However they still hate you for dating their only child and coming to my housewarming drunk and then passing out in my bed.”

“Are you ever going to tell them we are back together ?”

She stopped fastening her heels and looked up at me

“Slate, for the millionth time we are not back together,” She said bitterly. Then her face changed and her tone softened,”You are not the kind of man I should be with nor the one  I really want to be with. I like you but, I don't love you I never really did. It will be difficult finding someone with HIV but, I’ll deal with it. Slate I just can't in good conscience settle for you.”

“If I changed became the guy you think you should be with would I have a fighting chance ?”

“Honestly,yes. But I like who you are and you will never change for anyone and I know I won't change my expectations. But you are right.”

“About what ?”

“My friends are bitchy. You’re one of my best friends, I trust you. I really did connect with you when we first met. “ she said, ”We both have this terrible thing and I think  we can be there for each other.”

The truth really does hurt. I hated when she was right, I wasn't going to change for her. I had screwed up a lot in the past when dating her and if we dated I would  probably screw up would again.

“So, are you kicking me out ?”

“Let’s say this little thing with you has been great.  A little bit destructive too but, when the new year comes in you can’t be here,” she said.

I could agree to that.

“Where the fuck is your iron ?” I asked her

“You know what one of those is ?” she joked,"Slate, I don't think I''ve ever seen you in a shirt that wasn't wrinkled."

“Well, If I’m going to the mayor’s house I may as well look presentable,"

***

I could see the news van was already backing out of the driveway. I had come at the perfect time.  I knew they were interviewing my dad after some feed the homeless bullshit he did this morning. What were those people doing the rest of the year ? Then again in a town with the population of 4,000 it's usually always a slow news day.

My dad’s title was just that-- a title.  He actually had very little power, most of that went to the Council 2 of  the members which he had watched rise to positions higher than him.

I knew it killed him.

I got out of the car and leaned into Emily's window.

“Want to come n and say hi ?” I taunted her.

“Maybe when the shock has warn off,” she smiled

"I'll see you tomorrow, okay ?" I told her

"You're not planning on patching things up with your family ?" she asked

"I don't know,maybe," I told her  "But, I know I was there for you I want you to be there for me . . . at the doctors,"

She nodded and smiled and drove off.

I walked up the newly paved driveway and passed Aunt Nina and Noahandsadie’s car in the driveway. I wondered if Darcy was even here.  I walked around  the house to the back door where I was sure I could be seen before I knocked.

I  may as well see if they wanted to let me in.

I knocked on the backdoor and the first person my eyes caught was Mrs.Bennett. She immediatedly turned her head and gave a look to someone probably my dad and then she walked over opened the door. 

“Hi, Slate” she said in what sounded like a forced genuine voice as she held the door open for me.

“Hey, Mom” I said and then lowered into a whisper,”Does he know ?”

“Come on in,” she said.

My dad was sitting  with with two suits  who I recognized as councilmen, Sara was walking back towards the kitchen where Aunt Nina was elbow deep in something, Lila was sitting on the floor talking with Amber and Sienna (my dad’s a fucking idiot in case you can’t tell). Noahandsadie and Uncle Constantine were watching the pregame show and nothing moved but their eyes  as I made my way inside. I could tell I was pretty much underdressed without a shirt and tie on.

Are you supposed to feel so bad in your own house ?

What was I saying ? This hadn’t been my house since I was a kid.

“Hey, son it’s good to see you,”my dad broke the ice as he headed for the front door with his friends. He was acting like he had seen me a few hours ago instead of a few months ago. Dad disappeared to the front door with his guests but  I was still searching hopelessly for Darcy.

“Okay, let’s talk,”Aunt Nina said grabbing my hair and forcing me into a chair and then taking her brothers arm and forcing him to sit next to me.

“I’m sorry,” I said rolling my eyes up toward Aunt Nina.

“Slate you know we know this isn’t your fault—“ she started

“I’m not apologizing for that. I know everyone has   been through a lot since you dad me out and I haven’t exactly thanked any of you guys for saving me. Listen yes, I have HIV and I regret it. I’m just--I just want to take all this back. I want to do better.”

“I’ll admit you pick a hell of a time,” my dad responded,”But, we wanted you out the house because you were a bad influence not because we wanted you out of the family.”

“I’m wish I could change but, I will try and get my act together for Darcy. I will do everything I can to help him--Darcy is here isn’t he ?”

“He’s upstairs,”Aunt Nina said.

I got out of the chair and took the the stairs 2 at a time, I could hear someone moving around in my old room. I stood in the doorway for a bit to collect my thoughts. Darcy and I were not good at being real and serious or atleast I wasn't good at being that way with him. I walked into the room, it looked just as it had since I was like 11. The walls were still covered with superhero posters and Darcy was laying on my bed that still had Captain Marvel bedsheets.

I was such a nerd.

“Are you okay ?” I asked him

“You’re  doing my laundry and  doing bike messanging for me for free,” was all he said. He had heard me downstairs.

“Like hell,”

“Yeah you are, cousin. You’re going to be my bike messenger bitch, I should get you a costume”

“Fuck you, Darcy”

“Fuck you, Slate,” he grinned and pushed my shoulder

"You and your mother are trying to kill me," I told him

“That’s for being a asshole,” he said

“Hey, I have HIV,” I said

“I have cancer,” he grinned, “but, I’m not contagious.”

“Hey-- you know I bet I still have some weed hidden somewhere,”

“You don’t I already looked,” he laughed

“You okay, cousin ?” I asked him

“I’ve been better but, I skipped chemo this week so it’s okay,”

I closed my eyes

I had to get out of my head for what I was about to do. I kneeled on the bed and I hugged him it was weird his body felt so normal.

"Darcy, I am so sorry . . .  I don't want you to die and it be my fault. You've always been there for me and maybe it's because you're stupid--"

"Hey,--"

"But, I think it's because you love me and I love you too cousin."

"Slate, I'm going through all this chemo for a reason. It won't be easy but, I will be okay. Right now, I fell better than I have in a long time . . . so much better I'm sure I could kick your ass,"

I suddenly felt Darcy's grip on me tighten as he pushed me over the bed and pinned me to the ground.

Okay, I'll  let him have this one.

* * *

“No bloodshed ?” Aunt Nina asked when Darcy and I walked downstairs together.

“Not yet,” I told her

“I think it’s time for me to watch the Jet get crushed by the Cowboys,” Darcy announced.

“Come on now, where is your home team spirit,” Constantine roared from the couch," They have home team advantage !"

Darcy smiled and headed for the couch but,I grabbed Darcy’s hand and grabbing the key ring with Noahandsadies picture on it  I headed for the drive way.

“We’ll be back,” I said heading for the door

“Come back sober !”Aunt Nina called.

“No promises,” I told her as we headed into the cold.

“What's going on ?,” Darcy asked even though he was still following me.

I ignored him and started the car and we drove down the highway until we got into Jersey City.

“Emily, again ?” he whined, "She's probably in Port Republic."

I parked in front of Emily's apartment and still pulling Darcy along went to the 8th floor.

I went to Elias’s door and knocked.

"What are you doing Slate ?" Darcy asked looking indifferent.

  Elias didn’t answer.

I knocked again and there wasn't a sound. I looked at Darcy who had a worried look coming across his face.

Darcy knocked on the door.

"Elias !" he called.

Nothing

"Slate, I'm worried---"

"I got it," I said using the skeleton key I had from work and opened the lock.

“Seriously ?” I said walking into the drafty pitch black apartment. Elias was on the couch.

"What the hell ?" he said standing up.

"Eli, have you left this apartment ?" Darcy asked concerned

"Does it matter ?" he asked, "What are you doing here ?"

"Slate, brought me here to talk to you," Darcy said, "And I'm glad he did. Eli, I had no idea you were . . . . I'm not letting you fall into another depression,"

"I didn't bring you here to talk to him," I corrected Darcy.

"Why then ?" Darcy asked

"I figured he could come with us to get some beer."