Bang !
Bang !
Bang !
I turned over in my bed and hid under the covers but it was useless.
I couldn’t ignore the loud banging on my door that were followed by the sounds of the door opening. I wasn’t surprised by the voice I
heard next.
“Nicholas, come on,” Killan ordered me taking
my arm and pulling me up out of my bed
“No, just go away” I said jerking my arm away from his grasp and laying back down.
“Nick, please," he said walking to the light switch "I drove all the way over because Mother misses you . . . and I want you there.”
The lights in my room came on and Killan sat on my bed.
“Come on, Nicholas,” he said pulling me up again this time waving Wishy in my face.
I pushed the bear away and decided to finally get up.
“What was this doing in the trash ? ,” he asked
“It’s what you do with toys when
you grow up,” I explained
“No it’s not,” he said, “Don’t you remember when you got this ?”
“Yeah, my 5th birthday.The only party dad came to.” I reminded him as I slipped a Sesame Street sweatshirt over my head.
“Yes and no. It was Julian's. He gave it to you but, before that it was Roderic's and before that it was mine and I got it from Timothy. You are the baby of 6 did you really think it was new ?” he laughed
“He was never Frances's ? ,” I questioned
“Of course not, silly it’s blue and she is a girl,” he laughed and then stopped like a painful thought just hit him,”That birthday party was the last time we all lived at home together. Timothy to college that next year and then I moved out and Roderic moved out and we haven’t really been together since as a family. I thought we never would again.”
“We haven’t really,” I admitted,”And with mother getting worse we may never—“
“Nicholas,” he said “Even if mother isn’t with us mentally, we still have all the memories of her and we need to remember the good times while we still can.”
I decoded the last 3 words of the sentence.
I did want to see Mother, I had a lot to catch her up on and it was a holiday after all. After all I was mad at Killan why should I punish mother for that.
"She is doing well," Killan added as I sifted through my thoughts.
"Just give me 10 minutes," I told him.
He smiled and nodded and went downstairs.
I guess that is the interesting thing about my brother--about my family is you don't always have to give reasons for forgiving it's just something you do. I think it's because it takes love to forgive someone and if you don't need reasons to love someone why do you need it to forgive them ?
After I got dressed, I went downstairs to meet Killan and we headed up the highway in his car. Once we had passed the first few exits I flipped the radio from talk radio to an actual music station.
“Hey—“
"It's time I showed you some culture," I told him
***
After an 45 minutes of me teaching my overly conservative brother song lyrics to music made int he 21st century we made it to the house in Upstate. I skipped up the steps after Killan as he opened the door-- I could see my sister in law Loretta
was putting her turkey in the overnwhen I was suddenly attacked by my little nieces who came at me so hard I lost my balance and fell to the ground laughing.
“I have got some crazy pictures to
show you guys, later,” I said and started tickling them
"Of what ?," 6 -year -old Rachel asked
"Is is your brain ?" her 4 year old sister Rebeka asked
"It's a surprise," I teased them coming up from their hug.
For the first time I saw my mom with
Loretta in the kitchen. She was wearing a peach dress her, her hair and makeup were fixed and she was carefully slicing strawberries. She looked like she was glowing--she looked happy
“Nicholas, honey I missed you," She said as I walked over to her "They said you weren’t coming,”
“I know, Mother I’m sorry,” I felt happier than I had felt in a long time I wrapped my arms around her," I was upset but I'm not anymore, I missed you too. I thought you forgot me."
"I think she just had to be reminded," Loretta told me.
"I'm so happy you changed your mind. I worry about you," Mother said.
"I worry about you too, Mother," I said, " A lot."
"You're the son, it's not your job, honey. You're old mom is tough you know that, right ?" she said
"I guess I forget," I said, nodding my head.
I stood in the kitchen as Loretta and Mother worked on dinner--the little girls trying to help anyway they could and Killan just trying to stay out of the way.
”I just
remembered what I was thankful for—“ I started
“You should save it for dinner," Rebeka told me.
“I can’t wait that long," I said picking her up and taking Mother and Killan's hands in mine.
“The doctors said in a few weeks I should go into remission—“
“Hallelujah !” Mother shouted and
we all laughed. It was followed by a million phone calls, tears and hugs.
I felt an elated and sinking feeling at the same time but, I smiled through it.
