Sunday November 9th 11:02 AM
“We are going to be late,” Mother said looking at her watch, “This is ridiculous, Nicholas I don’t want to be here,”
I couldn’t agree more. I thought the hospitals were depressing but, police stations were even worse. The chairs even more uncomfortable, the waiting rooms even more ugly.
The only noise was the sound of my mother tapping her heels on linoleum floor to the rhythm of the oldies song coming over the radio at the front desk.
A woman dressed casually in light blue jeans and a loose-fitting beige polo came walking towards us .
“Hello !,” She greeted, “No need to be so formal here,”
She was addressing the fact that I
was wearing a suit and mother a cream colored suit.
“We just came back from mass at the cathedral,” I explained.
Mother and I followed her past the rows of cubicles to a small office in the corner. There was a bulletin board behind her desk that was filled with pictures of smiling people, most of them children. She took a seat behind her desk and then looked up from her papers at us.
“My name is Karen Hill—“
“I’m sorry,Mrs.Hill ,” I interrupted her “But I don’t understand why I have to see the police—“
“I’m not the police,” she corrected me “ I’m a social worker. My office just happens to be here at police headquarters because I work with them a lot. In reality I mostly work with children—“
“I’m not a child I’m 21,” I reminded her sternly
I hated being mean to her—she seemed really nice--but sometimes you have to assert your dominance to get respect. Especially when you look like me. If you don’t you just get run over.
“I know, I said mostly” she smiled at me, “Now, The police found your mother wandering the streets lost and this is the second time. We—“
“It was an accident, I slept over with a friend,” I admitted “I have to leave a key in the house for her in case of a fire or something.”
“Nicholas you have to understand my job is to help people who can’t help themselves and find what’s best for them,” she said “You are young and having trouble, you don’t have any other option for your mother ?”
“Not really,” I muttered quietly.
“It said last time you called her in missing they found her with your sister older sister named,Frances ? Where is she ?”
“She was just visiting, then. She is in the Navy and is always away,” I explained
She wrote something down and then looked through her file again.
“Did you ever say what you did to provide an income?” she asked.
“I’m in school, I have 5 older siblings-- they send money and we have my fathers life insurance. I work part time to pay for anything I want or need. We get along pretty well.”
“If your siblings have money why doesn’t your mother stay with one of them ?“
“They all have lives and families and I can take care of her just fine—this was an accident.”
“Nicholas, I have your file from last time, you said you were sick with cancer. You can see my concern”
“We really have to be going,” Mother interrupted taking my arm “We need to go to Sunday mass, it’s first Sunday.”
“We can go to the afternoon mass,” I said to mother.
It would actually be really nice if our church actually had an afternoon service.
"Well, alright," mother said keeping her eye on the clock
Mrs. Hill seemed taken off guard but just went on.
“Okay, well --you are going to be assigned me as a case worker,”
“What—why ? We are fine !” I said louder than I meant
“Nicholas if you are doing as well as you say you are then this should not be a problem. We just need to review your finances and living situation to make sure your mother is getting the best of care. It is only temporary, if we find you are doing fine, then nothing will happen for you.”
“Nicholas, I do not want to be late for the sermon,” my mother insisted, “Miss , I’m sorry we need to go, now”
“Mother, we will go to the afternoon service, it is much better. Father Alden will be leading mass,” I said
The social worker turned a kind eye and took out some forms
“Let’s start with your names,”
* * *
Tuesday November 11th 6 PM
“This is such a joke,” I said putting my pencil down and handing the workbook to Eli.
“It’s just a precaution hey-- maybe I can write you a letter of recommendation or something,” Darcy offered.
“No, I'll just have everything lined up for her. They’ll realize they were wasting their time with us,”
“You missed two,” Elias said handing me back my workbook.
“Okay, don’t tell me,” I said looking back into this book, “I hate math.,”
Between work, home and dealing with cancer I had been able to keep a decent high C average at college but,I had been forced to get Fundamentals of Math out of the way this semester and it was killing me. I was literally one test away from failing the class. It was a good thing I had the two best math wizards in the city at my disposal.
“Anyway, I am sure there are so many worse cases in Brooklyn,” I started “I think this caseworker might be bored—“
Suddenly the door slammed open and Slate walked in from outside wearing only a pair of jeans, sneakers and a red knit knit shirt despite the fact it was 40 degrees outside. He threw his bicycle to the side and took a seat on the couch next to me.
“Have you guys started menstruating together ?” he laughed moving my workbook out the way to put his feet up.
“Wow, Slate what 12 year old did you get that line from ?” Darcy asked sarcastically
The door rang not 2 seconds later.
“That’s your Thai food,” Slate said
“What did you get hit by lightening or something on the way over ?” Darcy joked as he opened the door for Alak.
“No, I saw Alak on my way in,”
“You didn’t open the door for him ? You know Slate, you’re not supposed to bite the hand that feeds you” Darcy said going to the door.
“So, what is this about caseworker ?” Slate asked me
Oh my god.
He was acknowledging me and not passively or as the butt of a joke.
Slate must be in a good mood.
“My mom wandered off and the police found out and know we have a caseworker,”
“I think it is just another way for the government to keep track of people tell them what to do.” He scoffed, “I thought we were all supposed to be free,”
“Isn’t Emily a social worker ?” I asked
“I don’t know, sounds right though” He smiled picking up my workbook again and flipping through it.
“I mean I do a really good job, “ I said “My mother should be in her house with her family, right ?”
“Well, “ Slate said,”Where is she know ?”
“She’s at her art class at this center, it’s like adult day care—I’m not stupid”
Darcy came back with craddling Thai food boxes in his hand.
“You know you and Alak could be friends, Slate,” Darcy said, “ I mean you both deliver stuff.”
Slate just rolled his eyes and rolled off the couch to get a beer and headed into his bedroom.
“Wait,” Darcy said to him, “What the hell is going on? Why aren’t you stealing my food ?”
“Well, I already haven’t paid rent, I guess I feel like I’ve screwed you enough for the month.” He said closing the door.
I turned to see Elias attention was turned to Darcy’s laptop and he was holding his credit card in front of him.
“Are you buying something, Eli ?” I asked
“I just found this website, you can buy information on people,”
“Elias, that could be a scam—“ Darcy said
“No, I did some research,” Eli said, “It says journalist, lawyers and police use it all the time, it’s 20 bucks for a one time search.”
“Eli, are you sure you want to do this ?”
“Yes,” he said looking from the credit card to the keys, “I have to. I need a family history for my doctors and talking to my bio family will be nice.”
“You mean you want answers ?” I asked
“I just want to know my family,” Elias said,” Family should stay together and know each other, right Nick ?”
* * *
Friday Novemeber 14 4:43 PM
I skimmed through the page again typing the numbers in the calculator checking every date.
Could this really be from this year ? Something had to be wrong this was not right. I really wished I could call Darcy or Eli but, I didn’t need them knowing this.
I heard steps behind me and mother was staring at me. A rag and bottle of Lysol in her hands she watched me run through the folders, uncrinkling every piece of paper and rechecking the numbers
“Mother,” I said not looking up from the papers,” Were you going to put the dishes away ?” I asked referring to the clean dishes in the sink.
“Yes,” she said,” Do you need anything in the kitchen while I am in there ,Nicholas ?”
I shook my head no as she went into the kitchen.
Before I could run through the
numbers one more time there was a knock on the door, my mother peeked out of the kitchen and looked at the
door and then at me.
I had run out of time
“ I guess we should go together to the door and see the caseworker,” I suggested
She nodded her head in agreement and followed me to the door
“Good night, dear “ my mother greeted Mrs. Hill
“Hi,” I said ,”Come in,”
Mrs. Hill came in smiling with approval and she should have. Mother and I had spent just about every minute of the last few days cleaning the house, it was like a hospital. Mrs. Hill insisted on a tour around the house and it’s crazy but Slate was right-- they were encroaching on me, telling me what is right. She liked the house and asked a few little questions until she asked to sit down and ‘chat’.
“So, Nicholas tell me about your other siblings. I’ve heard about Frances but, your oldest brother Timothy is 34 and an air traffic controller that is a decent job I want to know why—
“He works at LAX in California, he has a wife and 3 daughters . . . he has a life.”
“Okay well, what about—“
“I may was well tell you this now, Julian has a scholarship at University of Hawaii in Engineering, Killan does live upstate but again he is married and we are not exactly on great terms and Roderic has a good job at a company in Dallas so, they all have great opportunities and they have their own debt. Not to mention I want to stay here with my mother—I love her.”
“Okay, speaking of debts I need to see the financial records we asked you to prepare,”
I begrudgingly handed her the paperwork and she skimmed it and then looked at me.
“You pay a lot of health insurance for your mother—is she that bad off ? She seems very lucid,”
“No, that’s for me for the brain cancer,”
For some reason I was sure it wasn’t the saddest story she heard but I could tell she was looking at that huge number. Between, school and hospital bills mother and I were in some serious debt
***
Tuesday November 18th 4:33 PM
I couldn’t keep my eyes off of him, I mean does Slate really think it we aren’t with Darcy we can’t see him ?
He was standing by the counter pacing back and forth. He still wasn’t wearing a coat but atleast had on a black fleece this time. His hair was pulled back in a sloppy ponytail and his eyes—he looked like he had just woken up from a nap.
“How much ?” Elias asked again in shock stirring the straw in his cherry coke.
“130,000 give or take,”I said “I know it’s a big number,”
Elias nodded his head
Even after not being around Darcy for weeks when Darcy and I got together it was like we had just finished talking 3 seconds ago. We were so close—closer than I had been to anyone except mother-- he was like my other half. We could be silly together and I loved him to death but sometimes being with just Eli was what I needed too. He doesn’t say much all the time but, when he does it’s usually right on point.
“Nicholas ?” Eli asked
“Yes ?” I knew what was coming next was something I may not want to hear
“What is so bad about putting your mom in a home where they can take care of her ? Won’t it help you ?” He asked
“This is all temporary,” I said, “When I graduate things will be better,”
You see I have a plan, I was going to get my business degree and take the first job I could find along with any other yuppie and I will work my way up and things will be better. There was just this in between stage that was hard to deal with. Now it was time for me to give Elias a hard time.
“So, did you figure anything out about the Greenes ?”
“I did actually,” he said “It’s a long story but basically , I have a relative. I’m going to see them this week maybe they can tell me where my parents are,”
“Wait, can’t they just give you a family history over the phone?”
“I guess I just want to meet these people,” he explained “I’m not asking for a relationship. I just want to know something.”
“Did your bio parents name you ?”
“Yeah,” he said
“They were Catholic probably.”
He shrugged his shoulders.
“Elias is not a common name.” I explained, “It’s the name of the saint.”
“I didn’t know.”
“It means the Lord is God. Saint Elias preached with Daniel to condemned men working in mines in Cilica. It was against the law and they were martyred.”
“That’s . . . interesting”
“Well, I think it’s brave. Whats more heroic than martyrdom ? Dying for faiths; something you can’t see or touch . . . something you have to feel kind of like love.”
“That’s nice,” he said and then looked contemplative, “ I’m not crazy am I ?”
“No,” I said
I couldn’t imagine having a family
and not knowing them.
Slate whisked by our table with a to go bag in his hand and then to our surprise he backed up and stopped in front of our table. He just kind of stared from me to Elias.
“How is Darcy ?” I asked
“He had chemotherapy today,” Slate said, “I thought I’d bring him dinner,”
And then walked off
No hello. No Goodbye.
* * *
Tuesday November 18th 8:09 PM
“You know how I feel. I can find a place !,” Killan said—doing a terrible job of not showing his temper.
“Now, boys don’t fight,” Mother said, ”Why not wait for your father to come home to solve this ?”
“Mom, Dad is dead, remember?” Killan said.
“Don’t say that,” I told him taking the phone off speaker phone and putting it to my ear.
“Nicholas, it’s true.” He said
“When you tell her she is wrong you confuse her and make her feel dumb,” I explained, “The doctor said not to do that,”
“Listen, Nicholas I don’t want to fight,” Killan said “But, that caseworker told me what she thought-- you only have one more chance before they take her away,”
“You are the only one who is being this way,” I said “Everybody else thinks the social worker is overreacting and is supporting me .”
“Nicholas if something else happens, I am coming down there myself,” he warned, ”Now let me talk to mother.”
“It’s you oldest son,” I said to mother giving her the phone
Killan was the closest to me distance wise as far as family went but emotionally we could not be farther apart. He was the principal of a Catholic high school in upstate New York and barely got away. He didn’t make the most money so he sent what he could but mostly what he sent me was bad advice. My brother loved me, I was sure but I know he doesn’t love the decisions I made with my life.
Only it wasn’t a choice.
Mrs. Hill had been forgiving enough not to take mother away but, she did say she was keeping her eye on me.
Like It wasn’t what I wanted to hear.
“Nicholas, sweetie,” mother said hanging up the phone, I sat down next to her but, she was staring down at the phone
She put her hand over my head-- a
reflex from when I had hair.
“That was just Henry Morales,” she said putting her arms around me and taking me into a tight hug “He is one of your dad’s employees he was at the last Christmas Party you remember you met his son ?”
I nodded my head
“Yes, well Mr. Morales found your father on the floor of his office, they called an ambulance and they think he had a heart attack. I don’t know how to tell you this—I know this will hurt but, sweetie, I am so sorry but--- he didn’t make it. I know this is tough but, I need to go down there and see him. You just stay here and keep the doors locked. You know you’re dad loved you and he is with God now watching us from heaven. No pain anymore. Oh sweetie,I love you.”
She released me from the hug and kissed my cheek.
“I love you too,mother,” I said
She picked her purse off the coffee table and stood up to head for the door
“Mother ?”
“Yes, dear ?”
“Since you are going to the kitchen can you bring me a soda too ?”
“Of course,” she said and headed into the kitchen.
